Visual Spatial Learners and the Challenge of Spelling

http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Visual_Learners/

By Alexandra Shires Golon
Visual Spatial Resource Center

When I present to parents, I have a Peanuts copy cartoon I use that shows Charlie Brown in bed thinking, "Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, 'What is the meaning of life?' Then a voice comes to me that says, 'I before E, except after C!'" My poor son spent a lot of time memorizing this rule. Then he misspelled "species" on his test because he kept spelling it, "speceis." (He did follow the rule, though, right?) Who makes up these crazy spelling rules, anyway? There are so many words that are spelled with rules that are broken or that make no sense-it seems silly to have the rule in the first place!

Spelling seems to be universally challenging for visual-spatial children and adults. Thank goodness for spell checkers. For those who think in images, not words, it can be very difficult to create pictures that incorporate letters, particularly pictures that will live on as memorable images in the visual learner's mind. Color is a great tool for accomplishing this. Taking the "IE" in FRIEND and making them a different color, even larger type, helps to secure the rule, or for them the image, that, in this instance, the I precedes the E. This is an effective trick for nearly all spelling words, particularly those with unusual or rule-breaking spelling. My children once had a teacher who taught her students to actually place "rule-breaking" spelling words in jail, behind bars. The image of the word having been imprisoned for breaking the rules would stick in their memory. Here's one my youngest did for the word, "reign" because the "g" is a rule breaker, serving little purpose in the spelling of the word:

However, if color or jail bars don't secure the image, try adding characters around the letters and creating a whole silly story around the word itself. Remember, humor will engage the right hemisphere; color and size will help it to be retained. For example, consider the word, "MOUNTAIN." There are several opportunities for creating actual mountains out of the letters M, N and A. Using a full piece of paper, write the spelling word using pictures of what the word represents. Perhaps our "MOUNTAIN" has climbers on the O or the I. A whole story can be created about the climbers ascending certain letters. Use any trick that will help the spelling of this word to stay in the child's visual memory. Enlist students' help in creating silly stories and drawings - this will make the images easier for them to remember. Don't place any boundaries on what their stories include - they need to create it, store it and be able to recall them, so let them use what works for them. My oldest son made up this silly story to remember how to spell, "friend" correctly:

FRIEND
"These FRIes from FRIday's sure taste good at the day's end!"
"You're right, FRIend!"

Or, as a mum in New Zealand recommended to me, try typing each spelling word you have on your computer in a different font. Pick a font that matches the feeling or mood of your word. So, serendipitous which sounds like a fun and interesting word, might look like this: serendipitous Just be sure to use a font you can read!

If your visual-spatial children have successfully created an image of the word in their minds, they will be able to spell that word forward and backward. To test whether the image your children have created has a permanent, retrievable place in their memory (or file cabinet, as my son would say), ask your children to spell the word in reverse. If they can't do it, they need to work on some other technique (color, humor, size, etc.) to secure their image of the word until they are able to spell it correctly forward and backward.

A Visualization Approach to Spelling*
*Borrowed from Neurolinguistic Programming

1. Write the spelling word in large print with bright-colored ink on a white piece of paper with the difficult part of the word written in a different color.
2. Hold the card in front of you as far as your arm can reach, a little bit above your eyes.
3. Study the word carefully, then close your eyes and see if you can picture the word in your imagination.
4. Now, do something wild and crazy to the word in your imagination - the sillier the better. (You could make it colorful, have the letters act like people or animals-anything that will help you remember how the word is spelled.)
5. Place the word somewhere in space, in front of you or above your head. Remember that there is an infinite amount of space around you that can hold an equally infinite number of words.
6. Spell your word backward with your eyes closed. Was there an even rhythm between the letters? Good! That means you are really looking at your picture.
7. Now spell your word forward with your eyes closed.
8. Open your eyes and write the word once.
9. Close your eyes again and see if your word in still where you placed it in space. It will stay there forever!

It is not unusual for visual-spatial learners to have difficulty with spelling, so I want you to consider this. See if you can read the following paragraph. Don't try very hard, just quickly read the words:

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deson't mttaer waht oredr ltteers in a wrod apepar, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltter be in the rghit pclae. The oethr ltteers can be a cmolpeet mses and you can sitll raed the wrod!
Apaprnelty, the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter, but raeds the wrod as a wlohe. Ins't taht amzanig? So mcuh for the ipmorancte of spleling!

Something to think about if your child has difficulty spelling!

Alexandra "Allie" Golon is Director of the Visual-Spatial Resource, a subsidiary of the Institute for the Study of Advanced Development, in Denver, Colorado. As a founding member of the Visual-Spatial Resource Access Team, a former G/T teacher and homeschooling parent to two exceptionally gifted visual-spatial learners, Allie brings a wealth of experience to her books, Raising Topsy-Turvy Kids: Successfully Parenting Your Visual-Spatial Child and, If You Could See the Way I Think: A Handbook for Visual-Spatial Kids which has also been used by teachers as a rich source for classroom strategies. Allie has been invited to present on parenting and teaching visual-spatial learners and on homeschooling issues at state, national and international venues. She has counseled dozens of families regarding harmoniously parenting visual-spatial learners as well as on various homeschooling issues, and has appeared on talk radio programs and in various print media. Allie can be reached at alex@visualspatial.org.

From Golon, A.S., If You Could See the Way I Think: A Handbook for Visual-Spatial Kids, Denver (2005): Visual-Spatial Resource.

Reprinted with the permission of the Visual-Spatial Resource. © 2004-2007, Visual-Spatial Resource. All rights reserved.

Seven Toxic Modern-Day Parenting Styles

Seven Deadly Parenting Styles

Posted: June 13th, 2012 by Michele Borba


21st century child-rearing approaches proving toxic to effective parenting and our kids' emotional well-being

From June Clever to Desperate Housewives

Ah the joys of raising our next generation! Frankly, I can't imagine any other job that is more challenging and rewarding; frustrating and joyous than parenting. It's perhaps the most significant role we'll ever have (we're talking about raising a human being for Pete's sake) and also the only one that doesn't require a single credential. And it's the only job that by the time you're done you finally have sort of figured out how to do it right. From those everyday challenges like getting your kids to brush their teeth, say "please" or make their beds, to those more worrisome issues such as drinking, sexual promiscuity or eating disorders, raising kids has never been easy. But in the last few years, child rearing has become even more challenging.

Over the last few decades there has been a major swift in how we raise our kids, and the descriptions of modern day parenting are far from flattering. Try these for starters: Helicoptering.Hothousing. Snowplowing. Hyper-Parenting.

In all fairness, part of our more super octane-charged mode is due to today's culture. June Cleaver and Claire Huxtable certainly didn't deal with hair-raising kid concerns such as cyberbullying, school shootings, and online predators, nor serious issues such as eating disorders, depression, and anxiety that face school age youngsters today.

Sure, we love our kids, want only the best for them, and will do anything in the world for them, but the truth is our new parenting approaches aren't doing them any favors. In fact, many of those styles contradict over fifty years of solid research proving what kids really do need for solid character, emotional health, and fulfillment. Several modern day child-rearing approaches are so toxic to effective parenting that I call them the "Seven Deadly Parenting Styles".  I am convinced using them is a bit part of why we're so darn dissatisfied, stressed out and lack confidence in our parenting and why too many of our kids are stressed and emotionally unhealthy.

Here are those seven deadly styles from my book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries (where they are described much more in depth with facts, figures, and solutions).

Seven Toxic Modern-Day Parenting Styles

Be honest: might any be describing your parenting? All of us are guilty of some of these styles and to some degree. The key question is to ask yourself if the style is the typical approach to how you raise your children. If so, are you notice that that style could be affecting your child's emotional, social, cognitive, physical or moral development? If so, it may be time for a change. By the way, if you're not seeing these in yourself, are you recognizing them in other Moms and Dads?

Deadly Style 1: Helicopter Parenting

Hovering over your kids, hurrying to smooth every one of life's bumps

It's a bird's, it's a plane; it's a helicopter parent! These parents constantly hover, and stop at next to nothing when it concerns their kids. They finish their homework, do and redo those science projects, and swoop into rescue mode, solving each and every kid problem. But beware: if kids have always been rescued or micromanaged, they may have had too little practice in developing such critical life traits such as self-reliance, decision-making and problem solving.

The change to parent for is learning to be involved but not intrusive in your child's life, so that she develops a healthy sense of independence and can cope someday without you. Start by identifying tasks your kid can do-like making her lunch or doing laundry-without relying always on you. Then teach just one new skill at a time, and once mastered back off. Explain your new policy: "No more excuses or rescue." And stick to your new motto: "Never do for your child what your child can do for herself."



Deadly Style 2: Incubator "Hothouse" Parenting

Pushing your kids into learning earlier than appropriate for their cognitive age and developmental level


There's nothing new about parents wanting their children to excel, but these days their quest is all about raising the SuperKid (aka "mentally-superior child"). Forget what developmental guidelines, based on years of scientific observations, recommend as suitable to your child's age and stage. These parents push, push, push, all so our kids will (they hope) achieve, achieve, achieve, and then are crazy worrying that they're kids aren't going to be good enough. There's no time for kid play: it's all about tutoring, doing extra "mind-building" activities, schedules, and studying. But we're seeing an impact from this parenting style that isn't pretty. Childhood stress, anxiety, perfectionism, depression, as well as cheating have never been higher.




The change to parent for is learning to appreciate your child's natural talents and abilities, and fit your parenting to his child's developmental stage and not for what you want him to be.

Use the Rubber Band Test as your check and balance. Pretend you're holding a strong rubber band with both hands, then ask yourself if your expectation stretches your child's potential without unintentionally snapping self-worth.

For instance: you expect you son to be a great shortstop when he's more into playing chess. Or you keep your daughter in that accelerated math class though she can barely keep up. Stretch gently; don't snap! Check those child development guides!

Deadly Style 3: (Quick-Fix) Band-Aid Parenting

Relying on fast solutions to temporarily fix a problem, instead aiming for real, lasting change

We're tired. We're harried. We need everything to be easy and quick, including our discipline approach. We'll do anything to get our kids to act "right”as long as it'll work right now. So we use those fast 1-2-3 methods "That's warning one; warning two; warning three" to head off a tantrum, buy those fancy behavior charts, promise our kid the coolest new tech game if he's good or money for every high grade.

The problem is quick-fix strategies only teach kids to act right based on warnings, rewards, or money. Oh, they can give relief, but it's only temporary and almost never creates real, lasting change. And that's why many of our kids keep relapsing back to using those same bad behaviors, and we end up more exhausted and discouraged.

The change to parent for is knowing that you need to learn effective discipline that helps your child understand what was wrong and how to make things right. Always take an extra minute to ask your child: "Tell me what you did that was wrong."  "Why was that wrong?"  "What will you do differently next time?" And always make no assumptions: take time with a younger child to role-play the 'right way'. Remember your goal is to help your child learn to act right without you.

Deadly Style 4: Buddy Parenting

Placing popularity with your child above establishing limits, boundaries or saying no

Nearly half of parents today admit that deep down they want to be their "child's best friend", and there sure is no bigger friendship ender like saying no. We can't stand the idea of making an unpopular decision, turning our kids down, or (heaven forbid) disciplining our kids if doing so might cause them to resent us in any way. Right now they need a parent who sets rules and boundaries and doesn't blur the line between buddy and adult. Besides the truth is our inability to turn our kids down isn't helping our kids grow to be secure, responsible, resilient and compassionate. Instead, it is creating what most adults believe is the most spoiled and ill-behaved generation ever.

The change to parent for is learning to set clear boundaries, firm limits, and realize that what your child needs most is a parent and not a friend. Start by thinking through what you stand for and won't tolerate in your child. Then let your kid know what those rules are and post them as your House Rules. If you pick your battles and put them in writing, you're more likely to stick to what you think matters most and your child is more likely to adopt them for his code of conduct. And you've reestablished control.

Deadly Style 5: Accessory Parenting

Measuring your worth and success as a parent based on your child's accolades





Forget healthy and well adjusted-over the past two decades what has taken precedence is spawning the "perfect" child whom we can proudly show off. And thus dawned the era of the "Trophy Kid Syndrome".  Every little accomplishment, test score, or hockey goal suddenly became bragging rights, and oh, how parents using this style love sharing those accolades. Showing them off is a living representation of a parent's own worth, but if the child fails or receives a less than perfect score, it can only mean that the parent somehow flunked.

That's because "Accessory parenting" is really about making our child an extension of our own wants, needs, and dreams. It fuels excessive competitiveness among parents and creates enormous guilt and stress if we feel our kids aren't measuring up, leaving our kids feeling as though they've let us down.

If the style continues, the child's identity is threatened, and unhealthy codependency emerges, with both parent and kid depending on each other for their sense of self-worth.

The change to parent for

is learning to see your child as a unique individual separate from yourself. Switching your pronouns from "I" to "you" when you praise is a simple first step. It takes the emphasis off of your approval and boosts your child's self-worth. Instead of: "I am so proud." Say: "You must be proud of how hard you worked." Also, encourage your child to acknowledge his own appropriate actions so he doesn't rely on your accolades: "You stuck to that math problem. Did you remember to tell yourself that you did a great job persisting?"



Deadly Style 6: Paranoid Parenting

Obsessively keeping your child safe from any physical or psychological harm


Keeping kids safe is always a top parent priority, but these days there is a heightened fear of letting our kids out of our sight for even a nanosecond. Sure, it's scary out there: kidnappers, terrorism, school shootings, cyberbullying, online pedophiles, tainted food and lead-painted toys. So we rein our kids in a little tighter, watch closer, protect far more, and sometimes to the extreme: "Don't do that! You could get hurt!"  "Don't talk to strangers!" "Don't go too far!"

But constantly fretting about dangers that just "might" happen only breeds fear into kids. In fact, the more we tighten our safety net, the more obsessed we become, and the more anxious and less confident our kids turn out. Is it any wonder that today's kids are more anxious than any other generation?

The change to parent for in this style is learning to relax a bit more, realize when you're being too protective so you child learns to face life, and handle your own worries so you don't pass your fears to your child. Start by teaching your child a positive phrase she can say to herself to handle her concerns such as: "Go away worry. You can't get me!" Or  "I can handle this!"  Practice one phrase until your child can use it alone. And if you practice together, you"ll learn the phrase as well, and will be more likely to keep your concerns to yourself.

Deadly Style 7: Secondary Parenting

Relinquishing your influence such that your children's world is controlled more by outsiders-including corporations, marketers and the media

In case you haven't noticed, today's kids are media driven. Computers. WII. Youtube. Video games. TV. Facebook. Ipods. DVDs. Cell phones. Today's average eight to 17-year old is plugged into some device seven and a half hours a day! In fact, many kids spend more time involved with media than with anything else but sleeping. And all that "plugged-in" time means less face-to-face time with us. Once we take a "secondary" role in our child's eyes, we begin to loose our power, and the prevailing culture becomes our substitute. Your child also becomes vulnerable to outside pressures; he is more likely to rely on someone other than you to guide him, and more likely to adopt others' values.

The change to parent for is realizing that you are the most powerful influence in guiding your child's values, attitudes and behavior as well as in protecting him against risky behaviors; and intentionally find ways to stay more involved in your child's life. Over the next week chart how much time your family really is plugged in watching TV, texting, playing video games, and surfing the net. Decide the right amount of plugged in time, and then create "sacred family unplugged times" such as family meals or certain times during the day. Announce, post, and preserve those times.

Tips to Make Parenting Change Possible

So you recognize you need to change. Now what? Well, after working with hundreds of parents, I'm convinced there are a few tips that will enhance your efforts to achieve long-term behavior change and boost your confidence.





~ Focus on one challenge at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself or your child by trying to change too many behaviors at once. Putting your energy on one thing helps you succeed. Just take small steps.

~ Keep a journal of your progressRereading your notations may help you see behavior patterns (and progress!) that you otherwise might have missed.

~ Track the targeted behavior on a calendarIf your plan is effective, you'll gradually see a decline in the frequency of the old style and you'll know you're succeeding. It also reminds you to stick to the plan for 21 days (how long new behavior takes).




~ Form a support group with another parent or two.Commit to meeting regularly. You'll realize that other parents' kids have similar behavior problems as yours "which is always a bit comforting" as well as have the chance to hear their suggestions of what works or doesn't work in ridding bad behaviors.

One of the most critical roles in our lives is to help our children become happy, self-reliance, and compassionate human beings. There is no reward more fulfilling than knowing you have made an enduring difference in your child's life. In fact, it's our ultimate reward!

All you really need to succeed is patience, common sense, a few proven parenting strategies, and above all, your instinct. After all, no one, absolutely no one, knows your child better than you.

Dr. Michele Borba, Parenting Expert

I am an educational psychologist, parenting expert, TODAY show contributor and author of 22 books.

You can also refer to my daily blog, Dr. Borba's Reality Checkfor ongoing parenting solutions and late-breaking news about child development.

Follow me on twitter @MicheleBorba

You can also find dozens more research-based and practical tips in my latest book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions. This blog was adapted from the introduction to The Big Book of Parenting Solutions. Please honor the copyright. Thank you.

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Resources for this article:

Glen Egelman, M.D. in Stephen C. Caufield, “Ninth Leadership Forum: Student Health 2010: What Changes Will the Next Five Years Bring?” Student Health Spectrum, Feb. 2006, pp. 4-18.

Hara Estroff Marano, A Nation of Wimps: The High Cost of Invasive Parenting, New York: Broadway Books, 2008; Alisa Quart, Hothouse Kids: How the Pressure to Succeed Threatens Childhood, New York: Penguin, 2006.

Based on survey carried out by Synocate in 2004, cited by C. Honore, Under Pressure: How the Epidemic of hyper-Parenting Is Endangering Childhood, Canada: Alfred A. Knopf, 2008, p. 33.

Term from Gay Edelman, Senior Editor of Family Circle shared in a personal conversation with the author.

Diane E. Levin and Jean Kilborune, So Sexy So Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood and What Parents Can Do To Protect Their Kids, NY: Ballantine Books, 2008, p. 66.

Rideout and E. Hamel, The Media Family: Electronic Media in the Lives on Infants, Toddlers, Preschools and Their Parents Menlo Park, CA: Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, May 2010.

38 Parenting Practices That Build Moral Intelligence

http://www.micheleborba.com/blog/2011/08/28/38-parenting-practices-that-build-moral-intelligence/

Posted: August 28th, 2011 by Michele Borba

Because the family is the first school of virtue. Make sure you’re schooling your child in the lessons of character

Even in our increasingly toxic culture, parents can still have the inside track in their children’s development because parents are their children’s first and most important moral teachers. That premise only applies though if parents choose to use their moral influence.

Remember, children do not acquire strong character in one-time lectures, but in daily teachable moments. So take advantage of everyday moments to stretch your child’s character and there are dozens! For instance:

“You have a new friend in your classroom. How do you think he feels not knowing anyone? What could you do to help him feel less lonely?”

“Listen to the lyrics on that CD. Do you want others to think girls should be talked about and treated that way?”

“Was that helpful or hurtful? In our home we only things that will build people up – not tear them down. What will you do to make amends to your friend?”

Here are a few practices from my book, Building Moral Intelligence, that make a difference in raising moral kids. Find ways to use these simple moral-building principles in everyday moments with your children.

38 Parenting Practices That Nurture Moral Intelligence

• To teach kids empathy, you must show kids empathy.

• Show the impact empathy has on others so your child understands it’s important.

• If you want your child to feel for others demand your child to feel for others.

• Provide opportunities for your child to experience different perspectives and views.

• Experiencing different perspectives help children able to empathize with others whose needs and views.

• Be sure your behaviors your kids watch are ones that you want them to copy.

• If you want your child to act morally, then expect moral behaviors from her.

• Talk about moral issues as they come up; so your child can hear your moral beliefs.

• Plainly explain your concerns to your child, set standards, and then stick to them.

• Catch your child acting morally by describing what she did right and why you appreciate it.

• To teach kids self-control, you must show kids self-control, so be a living example of self-control.

• Refrain from always giving tangible rewards for your child’s efforts so she develops her own internal reward system.

• Your home is the best place for your child to learn how deal with stressful situations. Don’t rob him of the opportunity to learn how.

• Gradually stretch your child’s ability to control his impulses and learn to wait.

• Treat children respectfully so that they feel respected and are therefore more likely to treat others respectfully.

• Tune up your child’s social graces and make courtesy a priority in your home.

• Do not tolerate any form of back talk or rudeness. Stop it before it spreads.

• Supervise your child’s media consumption closely. Set clear family standards, and then stick to them!

• Explain your moral standards to the other adults in your child’s life so you can work together.

• Make sure you are positive, affirming role model and surround your child with people of high character.

• Take an active stand against cruelty and just plain do not allow it.

• Take time to tell and show kids how to be kind-never assume they have that knowledge.

• Kids don’t learn how to be kind from a textbook but from doing kind deeds.

• Encourage your child to lend a hand so he or she will understand the power of “doing good.”

• The best way to teach kids any virtue is not through our lectures but through our example.

• Become the living textbook of morality that you want your child to copy.

• Teach your child from the time he is very young that no one is better than any other person.

• Refuse to allow discriminatory remarks of any kind in your presence.

• Get in touch with your own prejudices and be willing to change them so your child won’t learn them from you.

• Nurture in your child a sense of pride in her culture, heritage, and identity.

• Expose your child early to games, literature, and toys that represent a wide range of multicultural groups to boost her or his appreciation and acceptance for differences.

• Encourage your child to participate in activities, which promote diversity and nurture tolerance.

• If you want your child to be fair, expect your child to be fair.

• The easiest way to increase fairness is by reinforcing fair behaviors.

• Encourage your child when he encounters unfair treatment to stand up for himself and the rights of others.

• Look for opportunities in your neighborhood or community and get involved together in making the world a better place.

• Emphasize acting fairly and good sportsmanship both on and off the field.

• There is no more powerful way to boost kids’ moral intelligence than to get them personally involved in an issue of injustice and then encourage them to take a stand; they will learn that they can make a difference in the world.

There is no rewind button on parenting, so be intentional when it comes to building your child’s character. Parents who raise good kids don’t do so by accident!

Dr. Michele Borba, Parenting Expert

Tips from this blog were adapted from my book, Building Moral Intelligence. You can find more character building tips in my latest book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries.

You can also refer to my daily blog, Dr. Borba’s Reality Check for ongoing parenting solutions and late-breaking news and research about child development.

Summer Reading Lists by Grade Level

http://www.teach-nology.com/summerreading/

Suggested by Teach-nology


We are often asked by many school districts to recommend grade leveled books for summer. We decided that the need for a summer reading list was long over do. We polled 100 teachers (per grade) across the U.S. and Canada as to which books they recommend for their summer reading programs. The result is a comprehensive list of books for summer reading. Hopefully this will be helpful for both parents and teachers.

Choose the grade level of the summer reading list you would like to view by clicking on that grade level.

Elementary

Kindergarten
Grade 1
Grade 2
Grade 3
Grade 4
Grade 5

Middle School

Grade 6
Grade 7
Grade 8

High School

Grade 9
Grade 10
Grade 11
Grade 12