Seven Toxic Modern-Day Parenting Styles

Seven Deadly Parenting Styles

Posted: June 13th, 2012 by Michele Borba


21st century child-rearing approaches proving toxic to effective parenting and our kids' emotional well-being

From June Clever to Desperate Housewives

Ah the joys of raising our next generation! Frankly, I can't imagine any other job that is more challenging and rewarding; frustrating and joyous than parenting. It's perhaps the most significant role we'll ever have (we're talking about raising a human being for Pete's sake) and also the only one that doesn't require a single credential. And it's the only job that by the time you're done you finally have sort of figured out how to do it right. From those everyday challenges like getting your kids to brush their teeth, say "please" or make their beds, to those more worrisome issues such as drinking, sexual promiscuity or eating disorders, raising kids has never been easy. But in the last few years, child rearing has become even more challenging.

Over the last few decades there has been a major swift in how we raise our kids, and the descriptions of modern day parenting are far from flattering. Try these for starters: Helicoptering.Hothousing. Snowplowing. Hyper-Parenting.

In all fairness, part of our more super octane-charged mode is due to today's culture. June Cleaver and Claire Huxtable certainly didn't deal with hair-raising kid concerns such as cyberbullying, school shootings, and online predators, nor serious issues such as eating disorders, depression, and anxiety that face school age youngsters today.

Sure, we love our kids, want only the best for them, and will do anything in the world for them, but the truth is our new parenting approaches aren't doing them any favors. In fact, many of those styles contradict over fifty years of solid research proving what kids really do need for solid character, emotional health, and fulfillment. Several modern day child-rearing approaches are so toxic to effective parenting that I call them the "Seven Deadly Parenting Styles".  I am convinced using them is a bit part of why we're so darn dissatisfied, stressed out and lack confidence in our parenting and why too many of our kids are stressed and emotionally unhealthy.

Here are those seven deadly styles from my book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries (where they are described much more in depth with facts, figures, and solutions).

Seven Toxic Modern-Day Parenting Styles

Be honest: might any be describing your parenting? All of us are guilty of some of these styles and to some degree. The key question is to ask yourself if the style is the typical approach to how you raise your children. If so, are you notice that that style could be affecting your child's emotional, social, cognitive, physical or moral development? If so, it may be time for a change. By the way, if you're not seeing these in yourself, are you recognizing them in other Moms and Dads?

Deadly Style 1: Helicopter Parenting

Hovering over your kids, hurrying to smooth every one of life's bumps

It's a bird's, it's a plane; it's a helicopter parent! These parents constantly hover, and stop at next to nothing when it concerns their kids. They finish their homework, do and redo those science projects, and swoop into rescue mode, solving each and every kid problem. But beware: if kids have always been rescued or micromanaged, they may have had too little practice in developing such critical life traits such as self-reliance, decision-making and problem solving.

The change to parent for is learning to be involved but not intrusive in your child's life, so that she develops a healthy sense of independence and can cope someday without you. Start by identifying tasks your kid can do-like making her lunch or doing laundry-without relying always on you. Then teach just one new skill at a time, and once mastered back off. Explain your new policy: "No more excuses or rescue." And stick to your new motto: "Never do for your child what your child can do for herself."



Deadly Style 2: Incubator "Hothouse" Parenting

Pushing your kids into learning earlier than appropriate for their cognitive age and developmental level


There's nothing new about parents wanting their children to excel, but these days their quest is all about raising the SuperKid (aka "mentally-superior child"). Forget what developmental guidelines, based on years of scientific observations, recommend as suitable to your child's age and stage. These parents push, push, push, all so our kids will (they hope) achieve, achieve, achieve, and then are crazy worrying that they're kids aren't going to be good enough. There's no time for kid play: it's all about tutoring, doing extra "mind-building" activities, schedules, and studying. But we're seeing an impact from this parenting style that isn't pretty. Childhood stress, anxiety, perfectionism, depression, as well as cheating have never been higher.




The change to parent for is learning to appreciate your child's natural talents and abilities, and fit your parenting to his child's developmental stage and not for what you want him to be.

Use the Rubber Band Test as your check and balance. Pretend you're holding a strong rubber band with both hands, then ask yourself if your expectation stretches your child's potential without unintentionally snapping self-worth.

For instance: you expect you son to be a great shortstop when he's more into playing chess. Or you keep your daughter in that accelerated math class though she can barely keep up. Stretch gently; don't snap! Check those child development guides!

Deadly Style 3: (Quick-Fix) Band-Aid Parenting

Relying on fast solutions to temporarily fix a problem, instead aiming for real, lasting change

We're tired. We're harried. We need everything to be easy and quick, including our discipline approach. We'll do anything to get our kids to act "right”as long as it'll work right now. So we use those fast 1-2-3 methods "That's warning one; warning two; warning three" to head off a tantrum, buy those fancy behavior charts, promise our kid the coolest new tech game if he's good or money for every high grade.

The problem is quick-fix strategies only teach kids to act right based on warnings, rewards, or money. Oh, they can give relief, but it's only temporary and almost never creates real, lasting change. And that's why many of our kids keep relapsing back to using those same bad behaviors, and we end up more exhausted and discouraged.

The change to parent for is knowing that you need to learn effective discipline that helps your child understand what was wrong and how to make things right. Always take an extra minute to ask your child: "Tell me what you did that was wrong."  "Why was that wrong?"  "What will you do differently next time?" And always make no assumptions: take time with a younger child to role-play the 'right way'. Remember your goal is to help your child learn to act right without you.

Deadly Style 4: Buddy Parenting

Placing popularity with your child above establishing limits, boundaries or saying no

Nearly half of parents today admit that deep down they want to be their "child's best friend", and there sure is no bigger friendship ender like saying no. We can't stand the idea of making an unpopular decision, turning our kids down, or (heaven forbid) disciplining our kids if doing so might cause them to resent us in any way. Right now they need a parent who sets rules and boundaries and doesn't blur the line between buddy and adult. Besides the truth is our inability to turn our kids down isn't helping our kids grow to be secure, responsible, resilient and compassionate. Instead, it is creating what most adults believe is the most spoiled and ill-behaved generation ever.

The change to parent for is learning to set clear boundaries, firm limits, and realize that what your child needs most is a parent and not a friend. Start by thinking through what you stand for and won't tolerate in your child. Then let your kid know what those rules are and post them as your House Rules. If you pick your battles and put them in writing, you're more likely to stick to what you think matters most and your child is more likely to adopt them for his code of conduct. And you've reestablished control.

Deadly Style 5: Accessory Parenting

Measuring your worth and success as a parent based on your child's accolades





Forget healthy and well adjusted-over the past two decades what has taken precedence is spawning the "perfect" child whom we can proudly show off. And thus dawned the era of the "Trophy Kid Syndrome".  Every little accomplishment, test score, or hockey goal suddenly became bragging rights, and oh, how parents using this style love sharing those accolades. Showing them off is a living representation of a parent's own worth, but if the child fails or receives a less than perfect score, it can only mean that the parent somehow flunked.

That's because "Accessory parenting" is really about making our child an extension of our own wants, needs, and dreams. It fuels excessive competitiveness among parents and creates enormous guilt and stress if we feel our kids aren't measuring up, leaving our kids feeling as though they've let us down.

If the style continues, the child's identity is threatened, and unhealthy codependency emerges, with both parent and kid depending on each other for their sense of self-worth.

The change to parent for

is learning to see your child as a unique individual separate from yourself. Switching your pronouns from "I" to "you" when you praise is a simple first step. It takes the emphasis off of your approval and boosts your child's self-worth. Instead of: "I am so proud." Say: "You must be proud of how hard you worked." Also, encourage your child to acknowledge his own appropriate actions so he doesn't rely on your accolades: "You stuck to that math problem. Did you remember to tell yourself that you did a great job persisting?"



Deadly Style 6: Paranoid Parenting

Obsessively keeping your child safe from any physical or psychological harm


Keeping kids safe is always a top parent priority, but these days there is a heightened fear of letting our kids out of our sight for even a nanosecond. Sure, it's scary out there: kidnappers, terrorism, school shootings, cyberbullying, online pedophiles, tainted food and lead-painted toys. So we rein our kids in a little tighter, watch closer, protect far more, and sometimes to the extreme: "Don't do that! You could get hurt!"  "Don't talk to strangers!" "Don't go too far!"

But constantly fretting about dangers that just "might" happen only breeds fear into kids. In fact, the more we tighten our safety net, the more obsessed we become, and the more anxious and less confident our kids turn out. Is it any wonder that today's kids are more anxious than any other generation?

The change to parent for in this style is learning to relax a bit more, realize when you're being too protective so you child learns to face life, and handle your own worries so you don't pass your fears to your child. Start by teaching your child a positive phrase she can say to herself to handle her concerns such as: "Go away worry. You can't get me!" Or  "I can handle this!"  Practice one phrase until your child can use it alone. And if you practice together, you"ll learn the phrase as well, and will be more likely to keep your concerns to yourself.

Deadly Style 7: Secondary Parenting

Relinquishing your influence such that your children's world is controlled more by outsiders-including corporations, marketers and the media

In case you haven't noticed, today's kids are media driven. Computers. WII. Youtube. Video games. TV. Facebook. Ipods. DVDs. Cell phones. Today's average eight to 17-year old is plugged into some device seven and a half hours a day! In fact, many kids spend more time involved with media than with anything else but sleeping. And all that "plugged-in" time means less face-to-face time with us. Once we take a "secondary" role in our child's eyes, we begin to loose our power, and the prevailing culture becomes our substitute. Your child also becomes vulnerable to outside pressures; he is more likely to rely on someone other than you to guide him, and more likely to adopt others' values.

The change to parent for is realizing that you are the most powerful influence in guiding your child's values, attitudes and behavior as well as in protecting him against risky behaviors; and intentionally find ways to stay more involved in your child's life. Over the next week chart how much time your family really is plugged in watching TV, texting, playing video games, and surfing the net. Decide the right amount of plugged in time, and then create "sacred family unplugged times" such as family meals or certain times during the day. Announce, post, and preserve those times.

Tips to Make Parenting Change Possible

So you recognize you need to change. Now what? Well, after working with hundreds of parents, I'm convinced there are a few tips that will enhance your efforts to achieve long-term behavior change and boost your confidence.





~ Focus on one challenge at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself or your child by trying to change too many behaviors at once. Putting your energy on one thing helps you succeed. Just take small steps.

~ Keep a journal of your progressRereading your notations may help you see behavior patterns (and progress!) that you otherwise might have missed.

~ Track the targeted behavior on a calendarIf your plan is effective, you'll gradually see a decline in the frequency of the old style and you'll know you're succeeding. It also reminds you to stick to the plan for 21 days (how long new behavior takes).




~ Form a support group with another parent or two.Commit to meeting regularly. You'll realize that other parents' kids have similar behavior problems as yours "which is always a bit comforting" as well as have the chance to hear their suggestions of what works or doesn't work in ridding bad behaviors.

One of the most critical roles in our lives is to help our children become happy, self-reliance, and compassionate human beings. There is no reward more fulfilling than knowing you have made an enduring difference in your child's life. In fact, it's our ultimate reward!

All you really need to succeed is patience, common sense, a few proven parenting strategies, and above all, your instinct. After all, no one, absolutely no one, knows your child better than you.

Dr. Michele Borba, Parenting Expert

I am an educational psychologist, parenting expert, TODAY show contributor and author of 22 books.

You can also refer to my daily blog, Dr. Borba's Reality Checkfor ongoing parenting solutions and late-breaking news about child development.

Follow me on twitter @MicheleBorba

You can also find dozens more research-based and practical tips in my latest book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions. This blog was adapted from the introduction to The Big Book of Parenting Solutions. Please honor the copyright. Thank you.

---

Resources for this article:

Glen Egelman, M.D. in Stephen C. Caufield, “Ninth Leadership Forum: Student Health 2010: What Changes Will the Next Five Years Bring?” Student Health Spectrum, Feb. 2006, pp. 4-18.

Hara Estroff Marano, A Nation of Wimps: The High Cost of Invasive Parenting, New York: Broadway Books, 2008; Alisa Quart, Hothouse Kids: How the Pressure to Succeed Threatens Childhood, New York: Penguin, 2006.

Based on survey carried out by Synocate in 2004, cited by C. Honore, Under Pressure: How the Epidemic of hyper-Parenting Is Endangering Childhood, Canada: Alfred A. Knopf, 2008, p. 33.

Term from Gay Edelman, Senior Editor of Family Circle shared in a personal conversation with the author.

Diane E. Levin and Jean Kilborune, So Sexy So Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood and What Parents Can Do To Protect Their Kids, NY: Ballantine Books, 2008, p. 66.

Rideout and E. Hamel, The Media Family: Electronic Media in the Lives on Infants, Toddlers, Preschools and Their Parents Menlo Park, CA: Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, May 2010.

38 Parenting Practices That Build Moral Intelligence

http://www.micheleborba.com/blog/2011/08/28/38-parenting-practices-that-build-moral-intelligence/

Posted: August 28th, 2011 by Michele Borba

Because the family is the first school of virtue. Make sure you’re schooling your child in the lessons of character

Even in our increasingly toxic culture, parents can still have the inside track in their children’s development because parents are their children’s first and most important moral teachers. That premise only applies though if parents choose to use their moral influence.

Remember, children do not acquire strong character in one-time lectures, but in daily teachable moments. So take advantage of everyday moments to stretch your child’s character and there are dozens! For instance:

“You have a new friend in your classroom. How do you think he feels not knowing anyone? What could you do to help him feel less lonely?”

“Listen to the lyrics on that CD. Do you want others to think girls should be talked about and treated that way?”

“Was that helpful or hurtful? In our home we only things that will build people up – not tear them down. What will you do to make amends to your friend?”

Here are a few practices from my book, Building Moral Intelligence, that make a difference in raising moral kids. Find ways to use these simple moral-building principles in everyday moments with your children.

38 Parenting Practices That Nurture Moral Intelligence

• To teach kids empathy, you must show kids empathy.

• Show the impact empathy has on others so your child understands it’s important.

• If you want your child to feel for others demand your child to feel for others.

• Provide opportunities for your child to experience different perspectives and views.

• Experiencing different perspectives help children able to empathize with others whose needs and views.

• Be sure your behaviors your kids watch are ones that you want them to copy.

• If you want your child to act morally, then expect moral behaviors from her.

• Talk about moral issues as they come up; so your child can hear your moral beliefs.

• Plainly explain your concerns to your child, set standards, and then stick to them.

• Catch your child acting morally by describing what she did right and why you appreciate it.

• To teach kids self-control, you must show kids self-control, so be a living example of self-control.

• Refrain from always giving tangible rewards for your child’s efforts so she develops her own internal reward system.

• Your home is the best place for your child to learn how deal with stressful situations. Don’t rob him of the opportunity to learn how.

• Gradually stretch your child’s ability to control his impulses and learn to wait.

• Treat children respectfully so that they feel respected and are therefore more likely to treat others respectfully.

• Tune up your child’s social graces and make courtesy a priority in your home.

• Do not tolerate any form of back talk or rudeness. Stop it before it spreads.

• Supervise your child’s media consumption closely. Set clear family standards, and then stick to them!

• Explain your moral standards to the other adults in your child’s life so you can work together.

• Make sure you are positive, affirming role model and surround your child with people of high character.

• Take an active stand against cruelty and just plain do not allow it.

• Take time to tell and show kids how to be kind-never assume they have that knowledge.

• Kids don’t learn how to be kind from a textbook but from doing kind deeds.

• Encourage your child to lend a hand so he or she will understand the power of “doing good.”

• The best way to teach kids any virtue is not through our lectures but through our example.

• Become the living textbook of morality that you want your child to copy.

• Teach your child from the time he is very young that no one is better than any other person.

• Refuse to allow discriminatory remarks of any kind in your presence.

• Get in touch with your own prejudices and be willing to change them so your child won’t learn them from you.

• Nurture in your child a sense of pride in her culture, heritage, and identity.

• Expose your child early to games, literature, and toys that represent a wide range of multicultural groups to boost her or his appreciation and acceptance for differences.

• Encourage your child to participate in activities, which promote diversity and nurture tolerance.

• If you want your child to be fair, expect your child to be fair.

• The easiest way to increase fairness is by reinforcing fair behaviors.

• Encourage your child when he encounters unfair treatment to stand up for himself and the rights of others.

• Look for opportunities in your neighborhood or community and get involved together in making the world a better place.

• Emphasize acting fairly and good sportsmanship both on and off the field.

• There is no more powerful way to boost kids’ moral intelligence than to get them personally involved in an issue of injustice and then encourage them to take a stand; they will learn that they can make a difference in the world.

There is no rewind button on parenting, so be intentional when it comes to building your child’s character. Parents who raise good kids don’t do so by accident!

Dr. Michele Borba, Parenting Expert

Tips from this blog were adapted from my book, Building Moral Intelligence. You can find more character building tips in my latest book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries.

You can also refer to my daily blog, Dr. Borba’s Reality Check for ongoing parenting solutions and late-breaking news and research about child development.

Summer Reading Lists by Grade Level

http://www.teach-nology.com/summerreading/

Suggested by Teach-nology


We are often asked by many school districts to recommend grade leveled books for summer. We decided that the need for a summer reading list was long over do. We polled 100 teachers (per grade) across the U.S. and Canada as to which books they recommend for their summer reading programs. The result is a comprehensive list of books for summer reading. Hopefully this will be helpful for both parents and teachers.

Choose the grade level of the summer reading list you would like to view by clicking on that grade level.

Elementary

Kindergarten
Grade 1
Grade 2
Grade 3
Grade 4
Grade 5

Middle School

Grade 6
Grade 7
Grade 8

High School

Grade 9
Grade 10
Grade 11
Grade 12

10 Signs A Child Needs Occupational Therapy

http://nspt4kids.com/therapy/10-signs-in-the-classroom-suggesting-a-student-may-benefit-from-occupational-therapy/

Signs Classroom Teachers Should Look For


by ANNE SCHMIDT on MAY 21, 2012

A teacher’s job can become very hectic when trying to help each child with their own specific challenges. An occupational therapist (ot) can be an excellent resource and adjunct to helping students overcome challenges and excel in the classroom. Here are a few tips to help a teacher identify if a child could benefit from an occupational therapy evaluation and treatment. (This is by no means a complete list of behaviors or challenges in the classroom that an OT can help with.)

10 SIGNS A CHILD NEEDS OT:

1. The child is a bystander or observer on the playground and rarely tries out the equipment independently.
2. The child has poor posture while sitting in a chair at the table and during situations of unsupported sitting, for example, during circle time the child is observed to roll or move around a lot on the floor.
3. The child has a difficult time walking in line or being close to other children. The child appears to be irritated by touch from other people but frequently touches things themselves.
4. The child frequently chooses the same familiar game or activity and avoids learning new motor activities or games.
5. The child avoids fine motor activities. They have difficulty manipulating small objects, using scissors, demonstrate an abnormal pencil grip, or their hand tires easily during fine motor tasks. The child may press too hard or too light on the paper when writing.
6. The child seems to have more difficulty than peers putting on their coat, putting on and tying shoes, and buttoning.
7. The child has trouble putting together puzzles or finding a specific object in the classroom.
8. The child frequently runs into things in the classroom, falls to the floor, or purposely crashes into things or people.
9. The child has more trouble than their peers writing in their assignment notebook, keeping their desk and folders organized, and turning in assignments on time.
10. The child takes excessive risks and frequently demonstrates decreased safety awareness.

If you see any of these behaviors or characteristics in the kids you know, every-day life may be more difficult to get through for them than for other children, and is going to affect their success in school. Help these kids by seeking out an occupational therapist for techniques and strategies to improve their academic success and overall daily performance. Also, it is important to note that many children will exhibit the above behaviors and may or may not require Occupational Therapy (OT) intervention therefore it is important to consult with an OT first.

What Is Sensory Processing Disorder?

How To Diagnose Children With Sensory Issues

| Posted: 05/10/2012 2:40 pm  Updated: 05/10/2012 2:40 pm              

Written by Beth Arky.

This story is part of Speak Up for Kids, an annual public education program held during National Children's Mental Health Awareness Week (May 6-12, 2012).


        

It usually happens in the preschool years. You notice that your toddler seems to have an unusual aversion to noise or light. A teacher observes that, compared to other kids her age, your daughter is clumsy and has difficulty with fine motor skills like wielding a pencil. You've noticed that she is very, very picky about shoes, which are often deemed too tight, and clothes that are “too scratchy.”

More baffling -- and alarming -- to parents are their children’s meltdowns over things like their faces getting splashed or being dressed. Or a child might crash into walls (and people), touch everything or put inedible items, including rocks and paint, into his mouth.

These behaviors are all signs of problems with what’s known as sensory processing, found in children who have difficulty integrating information from their senses. In its extreme form, when it interferes seriously with a child's functioning, it's called Sensory Processing Disorder, or SPD, although it's not recognized by the psychiatrists' bible, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual.

Sensory issues are associated with autism because they are common in children and adults on the autism spectrum, though most children with SPD are not on the spectrum. They can also be found in those with ADHD, OCD and other developmental delays -- or with no other diagnosis at all. In fact, a 2009 study suggests that one in every six children has sensory issues that impede their daily functioning, socialization and learning.

What parents often notice first is odd behavior and wild, inexplicable mood swings. For instance, a first-grader may do fine in a quiet setting with a calm adult. But place that child in a grocery store filled with an overload of visual and auditory stimulation and you might have the makings of an extreme meltdown.

"These kids' tantrums are so intense, so prolonged, so impossible to stop once they've started, you just can't ignore it," notes Nancy Peske, whose son Cole, now 13, was diagnosed at 3 with SPD and developmental delays. Peske is coauthor with occupational therapist Lindsey Biel, who worked with Cole, of "Raising a Sensory Smart Child."

Another response to being overwhelmed is to flee. If a child dashes out across the playground or parking lot, oblivious to the danger, Peske says that's a big red flag that he may be heading away from something upsetting, which may not be apparent to the rest of us, or toward an environment or sensation that will calm his system. This "fight-or-flight response is why someone with SPD will shut down, escape the situation quickly, or become aggressive when in sensory overload," she says. "They're actually having a neurological 'panic' response to everyday sensations the rest of us take for granted."

Children, teens and adults with SPD experience either over-sensitivity (hypersensitivity) or under-sensitivity (hyposensitivity) to an impairing or overwhelming degree. The theory behind SPD is based on the work of occupational therapist Dr. A. Jean Ayres. In the 1970s, Dr. Ayres introduced the idea that certain people's brains can't do what most people take for granted: process all the information coming in through seven -- not the traditional five -- senses to provide a clear picture of what's happening both internally and externally.

Along with touch, hearing, taste, smell and sight, Dr. Ayres added the "internal" senses of body awareness (proprioceptive) and movement (vestibular). When the brain can't synthesize all this information coming in simultaneously, "It's like a traffic jam in your head," Peske says, "with conflicting signals quickly coming from all directions, so that you don't know how to make sense of it all."

What are these two "extra" senses in Dr. Ayres' work?

Proprioceptive receptors are located in the joints and ligaments, allowing for motor control and posture. The proprioceptive system tells the brain where the body is in relation to other objects and how to move. Those who are hyposensitive crave input; they love jumping, bumping and crashing activities, as well as deep pressure such as that provided by tight bear hugs. If they're hypersensitive, they have difficulty understanding where their body is in relation to other objects and may bump into things and appear clumsy; because they have trouble sensing the amount of force they're applying, they may rip the paper when erasing, pinch too hard or slam objects down.

The vestibular receptors, located in the inner ear; tell the brain where the body is in space by providing the information related to movement and head position. These are key elements of balance and coordination, among other things. Those with hyposensitivity are in constant motion; crave fast, spinning and/or intense movement; and love being tossed in the air and jumping on furniture and trampolines. Those who are hypersensitive may be fearful of activities that require good balance, including climbing on playground equipment, riding a bike, or balancing on one foot, especially with eyes closed. They, too, may appear clumsy.

To help parents determine if their child's behavior indicates possible SPD, Peske and Biel have created a detailed sensory checklist that covers responses to all types of input, from walking barefoot to smelling objects that aren't food, as well as questions involving fine and gross motor function, such as using scissors (fine) and catching a ball (gross). The SPD Foundation also offers a litany of "red flags." The list for infants and toddlers includes a resistance to cuddling, to the point of arching away when held, which may be attributed to feeling actual pain when being touched. By preschool, over-stimulated children's anxiety may lead to frequent or long temper tantrums. Grade-schoolers who are hyposensitive may display "negative behaviors" including what looks like hyperactivity, when in fact they're seeking input.

Peske sums up the way sensory issues can affect kids this way: "If you're a child who is oversensitive to certain sensations, you are not only likely to be anxious or irritable, even angry or fearful, you're likely to be called 'picky' and 'oversensitive.' If you rush away because you're anxious or you're over-stimulated and not using your executive function well because your body has such a powerful need to get away, you're 'impulsive.' If you have trouble with planning and executing your movements due to poor body awareness and poor organization in the motor areas of the brain, you're 'clumsy.' Because you're distracted by your sensory issues and trying to make sense of it all, you may be developmentally delayed in some ways, making you a bit 'immature' or young for your age."

Amid this confusion, there may be relief for more than a few parents in recognizing what may be causing otherwise inexplicable behavior -- and in the potential for kids to get help in the form of specialized occupational therapy and what are called sensory gyms.

"When I describe sensory issues to parents whose kids have it," Peske says, "the usual reaction is 'Oh, my gosh, that's it!' They've been trying to put a finger on 'it' for many months, even years! The sense of relief that they finally know what 'it' is is humongous."

Sensory Processing Disorder and the DSM V

Last Chance to Influence the DSM Decision

20 Fun Ways to Get Children Moving

http://bodysmartblog.org/2012/02/17/20-fun-ways-to-get-children-moving/
17th February, 2012

The BODY SMART Blog

From Head Start Body Start National Center for Physical Development and Outdoor Play

Physical activity is not just good for their bodies — for young children it is an important component of early brain development and learning. When adults model and teach the importance of physical activity, young children are more likely to adopt a lifetime of healthful practices and behaviors.

And how do we do that?  Through active play, of course! 

20 Fun Ways to Get Children Moving:

1. Practice spelling out the alphabet with your arms, using big motions. Then, try it with your feet!
2. Have a wheeled toy rodeo! Get out the wagons, push toys and tricycles and set up rodeo events — like weaving through cones and following chalk pathways.
3. Slide down a hill on a big piece of cardboard or push and pull friends around while they sit in a cardboard box.
4. Break out the pool noodles and play “Bumper Cars” — hold one end of the pool noodle in each hand, forming a U shape in front of you. Move around the track, bumping into other “cars”. Once cars bump, they have to jump five times before they can start again.
5. Add some hay bales to your play space. Not only do these look great, but the children can work together to move them around the play space. They will love having something new to climb over, sit on, jump off and more.
6. Play Throwing and/or Kicking Golf! Using either throwing over hand, under hand, or kicking – pick a target (i.e., mailbox, a tree, a light pole, the corner of the house); you can either share a ball or each have your own ball. The goal is to take turns throwing or kicking the ball toward the target just like in golf. Use different locomotor movements to travel to the object each time. Keep track of the number of kicks/throws it takes to the target.
7. Spread paper plates on the ground. Pretend they are rocks in a stream. Get from one side to the other without stepping in the stream.
8. Work on moving in different ways. Go outside and practice walking, running, galloping, skipping, jumping and hopping.
9. Time to march! Pretend to have your favorite instrument and march as you play. Can someone guess what instrument you are playing? Bring real instruments outside and march in a band with friends.
10. Rainbow Run- talk about the colors of the rainbow as you name colors, run & touch 3 things that are that color.
11. Go for a walk. Breath in the air as you swing your arms and hold your head high. First go in straight lines, then curvy lines, and then try walking backwards.
12. Get outside and practice running. When you are running work on pumping your arms front and back and moving in a straight line.
13. Set up an obstacle course using things to jump over, go around, and even under. See how fast you can do it.
14. Find an open space and work on rolling in different ways…long, straight body and a curled up small body. Rolling down a hill is fun!
15. Blow bubbles outdoors. Chase and catch the bubble before it pops. If it’s winter, you may even be able to freeze the bubbles!
16. Pretend you are at a zoo. Identify an animal. then move and make sounds like that animal. ROAR!
17. Pretend to be a growing flower. First you are a tiny seed in the ground and then grow into a big flower.
18. Pretend to be a balloon – first without air, being blown up, floating around, and then being popped.
19. Act like the weather! Use your body to pretend to be different types of weather. Rain, wind, thunder, snow…get creative.
20. Pretend to move like different foods- melt like a popsicle or pop like popcorn

Whatever you do, have fun and let the children see that you enjoy moving, too! Unplugged, creative and active play is the cornerstone of a happy, healthy childhood.

Get silly and get going: it’s good for your body, mind and spirit!